I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Don't make out with my wife yet
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
