feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Randomize
