And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
