i just google imaged poop.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
