If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i am craving dick and cupcakes
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
