You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Houston, we have a blender
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
