Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize