Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
