pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize