69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize