I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
