I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
