please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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