You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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