The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
