he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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