There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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