best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Text me some of your sweat
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize