its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
