The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize