I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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