She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!