we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.