Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.