you suck at this game today
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.