I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...