something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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