So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I can't turn off my feet"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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