i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
