i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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