Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
