he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
