he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I didn't notice because vodka
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
