it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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