Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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