How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
