Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
