matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Someone shit on the floor
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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