I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
