playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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