Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize