Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
