If i come over, it means nothing
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I am midnight drunk by noon
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
