It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
