your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
