gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
