what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
