Cold hands, warm shart.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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