Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
