So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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