theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He shit in the fireplace
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
