Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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