My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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