My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize