Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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