Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
