Porn is love you can see.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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