how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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