Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
