i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
