we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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