did you get engaged???
her vagine was all disorganized.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize